cyberspice (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cyberspice) wrote2003-06-11 09:19 pm
cyberspice) wrote2003-06-11 09:19 pm
Doctor doctor please...
As copied from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dodgyoldgoth
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their cures, if known. Viruses you suffer from:
Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Goth
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.
Industrial
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Amiga
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
BBCB
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
8-Bit
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
British
No need for cure. Benign virus.
UNIX
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Gaming
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Politics
Stop caring!
Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Ultima
If you find one tell us.
Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Cthulhu (60%)
Read some Enid Blyton.
X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
Southampton (69%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.
Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
http://totl.net/VirusScanner/
dodgyoldgoth The virus that have infected you will be show here along with their cures, if known. Viruses you suffer from:
Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD
The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
Goth
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.
Industrial
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
Amiga
Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
BBCB
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
8-Bit
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
British
No need for cure. Benign virus.
UNIX
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Gaming
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
Windows
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
vi
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Politics
Stop caring!
Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Ultima
If you find one tell us.
Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Viruses you might suffer from:
Cthulhu (60%)
Read some Enid Blyton.
X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.
Southampton (69%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.
Japan (60%)
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.
http://totl.net/VirusScanner/